the girl that imitates ghosts…

so when I came home home. inspiration took over and I sort of took this photos of my back. I’ve never did them before, let alone post them. I don’t know why, maybe because it feels so intimate…
but I like them.. it’s a new side of me.

speaking of ghosts. I met so many old ghosts yesterday night. when there was the huge carnival ball. it’s traditional, very! in our region carnival is a serious thing. but also it is a nice tradition to have and how it is celebrated here. I have a feeling that because we are older we can appreciate it for what it is now.
it’s where we grew up, it’s what we participated in since we were little.
I remember, beeing four years old and riding on the shoulder of giants. dressed up in the coulors of our hometown. I was dressed in a one of the three costumes as well. the baby version of it. and I was allowed to threw candy and yell narri narro and it was really nice.

or that one time, when we were dressed up as cats, and my mother made self made papermice to give away, and we had those marshmellow mice from haribo too. it was fun to eat so much of them that you had only a few of them left. and then drink lemonade with straws from bottles. that is one thing I miss, because drinking lemonade with straws tastes the best when you are little. like sunshine and grass stains.

as we got older the part where we all dressed up as crazy charakters was the best thing about it. not getting drunk or seeing your crushes. well that too.
so since 5 years we always (when we could tough) dressed up together as one group. this year i stayed in switzerland, m. hat final exams and nadine and me were the two left of the käfer bande. named after the very first group thing we did, hence the name.

so this year… I wanted to go as where is waldo, but there was no striped shirt available. then I went into our old closet where we keep all that dust and a few old treasures. so when I looked inside I found this old betty barclay dress. red with black polkadots and high waist and clean cut. fell in love and thought – let’s put the LADY in ladybug.

while dancing to crap music and giving away little candy I met a lot of old friends. like b. the very first boyfriend and he actually told me how we got together, because I couldn’t remember – spin the bottle my friends!
and then I met g., and it amazes me what kinds of people I seem to attract. not the other way around, always the crazy ones with much more crazy stories. well, he bought me a drink and then told me what drugs he tried. and I probably should’ve told him that if he is looking for a woman – not talk about your drug-usage. BUT – the conversation wasn’t that bad, because as tipsy as I was, people who are equally tipsy, they tell you stuff and he did. and I really grew up in this bubble where drugs are this ugly fairytale universe that I never had to know. not that I didn’t try to smoke a joint once. but I was 18 at that time and didn’t need to rebel.
drugs are still bad and stupid – even alcohol or cigarettes.

but I kind of like stories like this. because it’s real life, as ugly as it is. after that story thankfully nadine got lost and I had to search for her. never saw g. again.

and n., who usally goes home after the showpart. stayed the whole night. and we danced and were silly till 3 in the morning. these are the best nights. no expectations and easy living. live a little more.


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